First, on a beautiful late summer evening, JoeyMac suffered a bizarre "freak accident" during warm-ups for a Chicago Wild Onions softball game late this summer. The vicious "accident" left him rolling on the ground, screaming in pain.
Just a week later, teamates Tom and Lindsey Stilling went missing. They haven't been seen on the softball field, or anywhere in the Chicagoland area since.
Later that same week, Wild Onion reserve, Saranya found herself on the Disabled List due to another freak "accident." This time, the Wild Onion was somehow cut, bruised, black-eyed and embarassed beyond recognition during the course of a Frisbee-Golf competition.
For real, this happened during a Frisbee-Golf game.
In rapid succession the following week, utility fielder Anna Hayden-Moy went missing under circumstances eerily similar to the disappearances of both Tom and Lindsey Stilling. Then, outfielder Jean Fiske suffered a freak "accident" of her own while sliding safely under the tag at home plate.
Now, most of us Wild Onions assumed that these "accidents" or, attacks, as I'd prefer to call them, would come to an end upon the completion of the inaugural River Forest Late Summer Coed 12" Recreational Softball League. But they have not stopped. Coach/player Eddie McCahill suffered the most recent attack in early November, 2009, a poisoning. This poisoning and subsequent puking resulted in his expulsion from Soldier Field, causing a huge rift within the Wild Onion team.
It is my belief that these disappearances and attacks can all be attributed to one individual or small cell of individuals. The following is a candid cell phone picture taken of a mysterious man who has been spotted near most of the known Wild Onion attacks. It's believed that is next attack will involve some sort of human bomb. He should be considered creepy and dangerous:
