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Growing up

2012-01-11T12:10:00.002-06:00

The end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012 brought some firsts to my life. I bought my first plane ticket. I traveled West of Kansas City for the first time. I made my first attempt at downhill skiing. I was shot with a BB gun for the first time. Beyond those seemingly normal 'firsts' I think I also experienced time travel for the first time.

I wore the above outfit to the mountain each day, and pretty much nobody noticed. My jacket proclaimed that this was the new attitude of the 90's, but just about everyone had gone through the same wormhole that I had. There was one person though, that seemed to be 'confused' at what I was wearing, and it may be that he was immune to this time-shift. When I went into a local grocery store, still wearing my ski outfit, a cowboy passed me, and as he walked away he turned to his wife and in a distinguished West Texas drawl remarked "that boy looked like a fruit loop."

I can't say he was wrong.

Good luck and Godspeed to all of you in 2012!

Fakesgiving

2011-11-22T12:32:00.001-06:00

Well Patty, the theme of this years fakesgiving I think came by accident as we ended up talking about poo and puke stories for the better part of two hours. I thought I'd do a little google image search and see if I could locate any stick figure comics that detailed any of the stories that we shared and i found this 4 panel gem with stick figures named eddie and maura. Man, you can find anything on google...

Six years ago today

2011-11-17T21:01:00.003-06:00

On this date six years ago the blog had its first full fledged brawl with a Thanksgiving disaster brought on by Kevin. Identity theft isn't a joke. Neither are drumsticks.
Anyway, looking back on the blog had me thinking about Fakesgiving this year. I've noticed that with its early arrival we have yet to decide on a theme. I thought we could take some ideas from a younger Joey for picking a theme. Here's some of his ideas- "As for the theme of Thanksgiving, how about Molly's pregnant? Eddie is married? Joe is bisexual? Tommy is classy? Patty dates 20 year olds? You know, themes of respect...respect for good old fashioned rumors. Ahh Fleetwood Mac. Alright that's it, I gotta run, the phone's ringing." I guess some of those rumors don't really seem as shocking six years later but there's still some good stuff in there.

If anyone else has other ideas please chime in.

Happy Turkey Day,
Patty

Trivia heartbreak

2011-11-16T14:21:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was the final week of this season of trivia. We came into the night with a solid lead over our nearest adversaries. With this confidence, we expected to CRUSH the competition and win another $500 gift certificate to Sheffield's. However, our dreams were shattered when a very suspicious team (read 'cheaters') had an unbelievable round. Out of a maximum of 35 points for this night, our team held 2nd place with 19 points. The other (cheating) team, got 27 points. This was enough to force us into a wild season deciding tie breaker. After tying the initial extra round, the cheaters offered to split the prize with us, to which we replied "We think you cheat, and we're not going to reward you for it." Sure enough, we lost in a music-heavy double over time. Below are all of the questions we missed by round.

Regulation:
1. How many humans have walked on the moon?

2. Who was the Prime Minister of Italy that recently resigned amidst political pressure and litigation stemming from a prostitution scandal?

3. Who was the only US President to be sworn in by his own father?

Music

4. "Wanna Be a Baller" - Lil' Troy

5. "Surfin' Bird" - The Trashmen

6. "Tarzan Boy" - Baltimora

7. "More Than Words Can Say" - Alias

Overtime #1

8. Justin Verlander's recent Cy Young was a unanimous vote. How many previous Cy Young winners have been a unanimous vote?

9. Paul Mitchell is known for his line of hair products, what other non-cosmetic company does he own?

Music

10. "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T" - Webbie

11. "Heaven" - Warrant

Overtime #2

12. What is the name of the Arizona state Senator that is the leading figure in the anti-immigration laws being passed there?

13. What is the legal name of late rapper Heavy D?

14. This Golden State Warrior set a record in 1991 for attempting 17 field goals and missing all of them.

15. How many Oscar awards did the film "Crash" win?

16. How many years did Nelson Mandela spend in prison?

17. Michigan has the most wins in College football history. What program has the second most wins?

Music
18. Shiny Toy Guns "Major Tom"

I think there were more music questions that we missed, but I did not have space to write them down.

Good Luck!

Ron Swanson

2011-11-10T13:21:00.001-06:00

Publish Post

Used to work at Man Financial before he settled into the Parks and Rec office in Pawnee, IN

Scan It

2011-11-01T16:23:00.002-05:00

2011-10-30T16:50:00.002-05:00

Trivia

2011-10-27T13:22:00.004-05:00

Our trivia team has done so well the last couple of weeks that there are not a lot of questions to ask, but here they are:

1. According to the International Olympic Committee, how many sports will there be in the next Summer games. Hint: there are 7 sports that feature different disciplines such as 'Aquatics' has lots of races that Michael Phelps wins.

2. Prior to becoming its own division of the Armed Forces in 1947, which division housed the Airforce?

3. Who was the first African-American to win the Nobel Peace Prize?

4. This 1993 film featured Jada Pinkett, Samuel L. Jackson, and Larenz Tate.

5. Who was the first woman appointed to be a US ambassador to a foreign country?

6. What was the country?

Most of the time for music we were able to get either the artist or the title, but not always both, so I am going to try to give you half of the question, and see if you can get the other.
Music:
7. Aerosmith - lyrics 'Loving you's got to be, like the devil in the deep blue sea'

8. Survivor - lyrics 'I was living for a dream, loving for a moment, taking on the world, that was just my style'

9. ???? - "More Today Than Yesterday" lyrics 'I love you more today than yesterday, but half as much as tomorrow' hint: the band is not 'Chicago'

Name the President pictured:
10.

11.

The Art of Negotiations - Lesson three, come down from your demands a little but threaten them real good

2011-10-20T12:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, fifteen percent. But if you fail me again, I'll put a price on your head so big you won't be able to go near a civilized system.

The Art of Negotiations - Lesson two, high ball them

2011-10-20T12:40:00.000-05:00

[R]Han[M], my boy, you're the best.
So, for an extra twenty percent...

The Art of Negotiations - Lesson one, don't negotiate

2011-10-17T23:02:00.000-05:00

There will be no bargain, young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die.

Trivia 10-11-2011

2011-10-12T12:52:00.003-05:00

Zoinks! We got smoked this week in trivia, so there will be a lot of questions that you can review here:

1. What was the first state to elect a female Governor?

2. What artist became famous after publishing "Birds of America" in 1827?

3. Who was the only President that after serving as President later became a US Senator?

4. In what year did Superman actor Christopher Reeves die?

5. Name the 2006 film that includes Natalie Portman, Javier Bardem, and Randy Quaid.

6. What is the name of the US Battleship that was present at the invasion of Normandy on D-Day, Pearl Harbor, and the invasion of Okinawa?

7. What is the name of the actor that played 'Random Task' in the Austin Powers films? He is currently serving a life sentence in a Federal prison..

Music
8. "More Human than Human" - White Zombie

9. "When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going" - Billy Ocean

10. "I Want to be With You" - Fun Factory

There's a cat somewhere hidden in this photo....

2011-09-29T20:05:00.001-05:00

Great Aunt Kathy had it posted on her facebook and it took me a while to find it so I thought other people might like to give it a shot.

Trivia 9-27-2011

2011-09-29T15:05:00.005-05:00

This week my trivia team lost a tough matchup 26-28. Here are the questions that we missed.

1. Name the 1984 movie that featured Kim Catrall, Michael Winslow, and Steve Guttenberg.

2. Who sings the song "Lito's Shuffle"

3. What is the longest running sit-com featuring mostly African-Americans? hint: the show aired on CBS

4. The Buffalo Bills TD song that they play in the stadium is based on this classic song from the Eisley Brothers.

The next four are building identification questions. Name the building pictured:
5.

6.

7.

8.

Trivia is back!

2011-09-22T12:35:00.002-05:00

I have recently gotten back into the swing of attending trivia during the week, so I figured that I should get back into the swing of posting the missed questions. This week at Sheffield's we finished in 2nd place by one point, so here are the questions that if you knew, would have catapulted us into the lead:

1. What is the name of Johnny Quest's Dog?

2. What is the name of the girl in Speed Racer?

3. Identify the 1987 movie based on its tagline: "A teacher is assigned to be the principal of a violence and crime ridden high school."

4. What former U.S. President was injured playing football with legend Jim Thorpe?

5. The last surviving member of the constitutional congress died in 1836, who was he?

6. Identify the 1988 movie based on its tagline: "A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth."

7. Name the lead actor in the above 1988 movie.

8. The organization currently known as the the New York Yankees were originally called by what name?

9. What was the name of the high school that the Brady Bunch attended?

Music:
10. "When I Look Into Your Eyes" - Firehouse

11. "My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me" - Ghetto Boys

Biggest Loser: McCahill Edition

2011-09-10T14:29:00.001-05:00

In case you have been a little bit out of the loop these past few months, there is a new spirit for the McCahill children. A majority of us now wear pedometers and are starting to walk more. So this year for Thanksgiving, instead of having the biggest gate-weighner of yesteryear, Molly suggested we have a biggest loser like competition. The first weigh-in would be this week and whoever had the largest percentage of weight-loss by Thanksgiving would be the winner. Prizes could include cash, oversized Notre Dame basketball jerseys, the drumstick, one free tackle in the annual Turkey football game (no Ka-Garbage Face’s allowed), or the coveted first pick in the grab bag.

Regardless of other sibling support, Molly and I will have this competition so let us know if anyone wants to join.

There will be no bargain, young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die.

2011-09-09T12:31:00.000-05:00

Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage.

The White Sox obtain Roy Hobbs on trade waivers!

2011-09-08T15:33:00.002-05:00

Watch out American League central, this blast from the past is ready to kick some a$$.

A War You Say

2011-08-19T10:45:00.005-05:00

Covert Agent

Didn't Know they were at WAR!

"I went to work in that system [the IRS] because the first rule of war is: Know your enemy," the Minnesota Republican said. "So I went to the inside to learn how they work because I want to defeat them."
"I'm a former federal tax lawyer. I get how devastating high taxes are, I've seen it, the devastation on businesses and farmers and individuals and families and I'm going to change the economy by changing the tax code,"

- The future 45th President of the U.S, Michelle Bachmann

That's why Eddie works at Depaul, he lives in Rogers Park, and clearly loves Loyola. He's been infiltrating the Blue Demons for years just so he can one day rip the wishes out of Wish Field, the sleazy easies out of Courtland, the inner sanctum out of Sanctuary, the rays of sunlight out of The Ray, and the comb out of the back pocket of the student in the St. Vincent statue. He's already destroyed Demon Dogs so his precious Northern Redliners, hopping the turnstiles to Hamiltons can have longer trains. Oh he's a rambling man alright, and he's started a far too real war.

Eddie Has been Outed

We should have known it was a ruse all along. No one would work for Depaul's student accounts simply to perform tasks related to Depaul and Students and their accounts. Too easy. If he's not taking a piss on the RKelly license plate, he's loosening the cheese grater building's protection. I know why he invited 345 Depaul employees to the south-side for his birthday party. His comrades where looting the campus. Oh this man is no slouch.

Hold on to your Combs

2011-08-13T15:10:00.001-05:00

Zambrano 'retires' after dismal 10-4 loss

Cubs 'respect his wishes' after he gives up 5 homers to Braves but find the mess he left in his empty locker inexcusable

ATLANTA — Carlos Zambrano cleaned out his locker and told friends he was retiring Friday night after serving up five home runs and getting ejected in a 10-4 loss to the Braves.

Whether or not he will pitch again remains to be seen, though even if he does decide to apologize, his days as a Cub are probably over. An apology also won’t clean up the massive dump he took in his locker after cleaning it out and taking off his nameplate. Zambrano was unable to be reached for comment but many players had their own comments on his antics. Soriano was quoted as saying, “This park already smells like sh*t, now the locker room does too.”

“It wasn’t enough that he gave up five home runs and then tried to take off Chipper Jones’s head. The dump separates him into an elite list of as*holes the ranks of such people like O. J. Simpson and Tanya Harding,” said former Cub’s player Mark Grace.

"He didn't have it tonight," manager Mike Quade said. "I'm really disappointed. His locker is empty, well, almost empty. I don't know where he's at. He walked out on 24 guys that are battling their (butts) off for him and left a stench in the clubhouse that I don’t think any of us are going to forget.”

The Oak Park

2011-08-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

Unabomber returns to the scene of the crime.
With Jean Shorts

let freedom ring!

2011-08-04T23:21:00.002-05:00

Erin Ruins Another Game of 4th of July Stickball

2011-08-04T22:59:00.002-05:00

'Dumb' American criminals attempt robbery with ‘permanent marker pen disguises’

2011-07-09T11:33:00.002-05:00

(A couple people asked me where I found this picture so I decided to post the article)

Two hapless robbers in America, Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, have been arrested with the “worst disguises ever” after trying to hide their faces with permanent marker pen.

McNelly, 23, and Miller, 20 were arrested by armed police in Carroll, Iowa, last Friday after witnesses reported seeing two men trying to break into an apartment with fake beards and "masks" scrawled on their faces.

Police responding to a call about the attempted burglary later pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle.

When they stopped their 1994 Buick Roadmaster, bewildered police discovered the drunk hapless pair – nicknamed “dumb and dumber” – complete with makeshift disguises.

Police issued-mugshots of the pair show the black ink scribbles on their faces, in what some commentators described as “the worst disguise ever”.

"We're very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,” local police chief Jeff Cayler told CNN.

“I've never heard of colouring your face with a permanent marker."

He added: "They probably were just not thinking straight and figured we'll go out and scare the guy or whatever.

“[They were] being dumb and combine that with alcohol and it was the perfect storm.

"I've been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I've seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two - strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time.”

He had earlier told Radio Iowa: “It's a little weird.

"I've been here long enough that I've seen a lot of things, but this one's a little different compared to most ... I mean, just the face thing is what sets it apart."

The men may have been under the influence of alcohol when they devised the idea for their disguises.

"For what it's worth, it appeared they had both been drinking quite a bit and maybe weren't thinking quite rationally," Mr Cayler said.

McNelly and Miller were each later charged with attempted second-degree burglary and released on bail after appearing at Carroll County Magistrate Court on Monday.

McNelly was also charged with drunk driving.

Lawyers for the pair declined to comment.

The pair are due back in court next month.

2011-07-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

This Past Weekend

2011-06-19T22:33:00.002-05:00

This past weekend, I accidentally rear ended a car on Congress Avenue after getting off of 290. A lot of people asked me how I managed to do this and what my reaction was. This video sums up my reaction pretty perfectly.

-Impster

Dancing Dan aka The Aborigine has a Sweet New Look

2011-06-18T15:24:00.006-05:00

More Trivia

2011-06-16T09:33:00.002-05:00

Sorry about not posting recently. We have been doing pretty well at trivia, but it is not like we were running perfect scores the last few weeks. Here are the questions that we missed two weeks ago:

1. This 2007 film's plot line is: A meddling mother tries to set her daughter up with the right man so her daughter won't follow in her footsteps.

2. In June of 1981, Israel bombed and destroyed this country's nuclear reactor.

3. This American composer wrote this song in 1938, but it has been performed famously at the funerals of FDR, Albert Einstein, and at a ceremony commemorating the victims of 9-11. Oliver Stone also used it in his film 'Platoon' during the death scene of Willem Dafoe's character Sgt. Elias.

4. This 1989 film's plot line is: A local public station gets a new owner. The station becomes a hit, with all sorts of hilarious sight gags and wacky humor.

5. In the above film, who played the role of George Newman?

6. A West Point cadet is suing this famous singer after he claims her bodyguards roughed him up resulting in a concussion because he was standing too close to the singer's bags in an incident on March 11th in a Houston airport.

7. In the animal kingdom, there is one species of animal to which the term "male pregnancy" has been applied (note: this is not a reference to the excellent film Junior starring Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger).

2011-05-24T19:13:00.005-05:00

Parents Keep Child’s Gender Under Wraps

When many couples have a baby, they send out an email to family and friends that fills them in on the key details: name, gender, birth weight, that sort of thing. (You know the drill: "Both Mom and little Ethan are doing great!")

But the McCahill family decided to do things differently with their Special Ed (pictured in the center). "We've decided not to share Special Ed's sex--a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Ed's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...)," it said.

That's right. They're not saying whether Special Ed is a boy or a girl.

There's nothing ambiguous about the Special Ed's genitals. But as Stocker puts it: "If you really want to get to know someone, you don't ask what's between their legs." So only the parents know their child's gender. Even the grandparents and the family's other children have been left in the dark.

Tom and Laurel say the decision gives Ed the freedom to choose who he or she wants to be. "What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It's obnoxious," adds Tom, a firm believer in big bed.

They say that kids receive messages from society that encourage them to fit into existing boxes, including with regard to gender. "We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Ed decides Ed would like to share," says Tom.

"In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, 'Please can you just let Ed discover for him/herself what s(he) wants to be?!."

Tom holds close to his heart a book from 1978, titled X: A Fabulous Child's Story by Lois Gould. X is raised as neither a boy or girl, and grows up to be a happy and well-adjusted child.

"It became so compelling it was almost like, How could we not?"

Tom says, "Everyone keeps asking us, 'When will this end?'" he said. "And we always turn the question back. Yeah, when will this end? When will we live in a world where people can make choices to be whoever they are?"

yes, we were home schooled....

2011-05-20T20:30:00.003-05:00

...this is one of the classrooms. Believe it or not, this was the nicer one.

An Elbow Drop for the New Millennium!

2011-05-20T20:26:00.001-05:00

RIP Randy. You will be missed but never forgotten.
"OOOOOHHH YEAAAAHHHH!!!"

Tied for 2nd Place

2011-05-18T10:03:00.002-05:00

This week's trivia was a Seinfeld special. We missed many questions, and came in second place. Here are the questions we missed:

1. When George worked for the Yankees, what was his job title?

2. In the episode "The Fire" there was a clown played by this "Swingers" actor.

3. Jerry receives royalty checks from Japan because his image is used on what Japanese TV show?

4. Elaine was the first Seinfeld Alum to get her own show after Seinfeld ended in 1998. In what year did her show "Watching Ellie" premiere?

5. What is the name of Kramer's friend that makes Jerry become a movie theater bootlegger?

6. What is the name of the Bagel Company that Kramer once worked for, but has been on strike against for the last 12 years?

7. Lloyd Braun is an assistant to what New York City Mayor

8. In the shower-head episode, Newman is able to work his connections to get a black market shower-head from what country?

Music
9. This 1972 release is perhaps most popular for being featured in a Volkswagen commercial in 1999.
Nick Drake -

Another Week, Another Winner

2011-05-11T15:11:00.000-05:00

We won trivia again this week. The guy that runs the quiz decided that he was going to make this week much more difficult because we had done so well the week before. So there are a lot more questions that we missed, but we still won by four points. Here they are:

1. What was the name of the operation to kill Osama Bin Laden?

2. Who is the "Boardwalk Empire" star that is rumored to be in a relationship with Courtney Love?

3. What is the southernmost Great Lake?

4. What racer is currently leading the point standings in NASCAR?

5. What state is known as The Natural State? hint, it is on their license plates.

6. This 1944 classic movie features an insurance salesman that meets an alluring housewife that wants her husband dead.

7. What are the names of the black Harvard professor and the white police officer that ended up resolving their differences in the "beer summit" with Barack Obama on the White House lawn? The conflict arose when the professor was locked out of his house, but was mistaken for a burglar.

8. Who is the current Secretary of Energy?

9. Before he was famous as an actor, what was the name that Vin Diesel used for himself when promoting his break-dancing videos?

10. The first Rodgers and Hammerstein musical that made them famous was "Oklahoma!" What was the next musical that they put on?

Music:
1. Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars, This song came out in 2010 and peaked at #6 on the charts.

2. Hole, This 1999 release was the band's most commercially successful song.

3. "I like that" - This song featured Nate Dog, and debuted in 2004.

4. This frat-rap artist hailed from Brooklyn, and released his most popular song in 1992, "College Girls are Easy"

Running Away With It

2011-05-05T20:11:00.002-05:00

We won this week big time!

1. How many ounces was the original Big Gulp from 7-11?

2. What were the names of either of the Mars Rovers?

3. This company was started as an online retailer for outdoor recreational gear in 1992. Since then, they have created some real stores, but maintain most of their business online.

Music
4. "You're the Best (Around)" - This song is used in the montage of the all-valley karate tournament in Karate Kid.

Close, but no cigar

2011-04-28T20:48:00.002-05:00

This week we lost trivia by one point. There were several questions that we should have gotten right, but missed anyway. Here are those questions, along with all of the other questions I don't feel bad about missing.

1. What date will Rahm Emmanuel take office?

2. This actress has done both films and tv, but became famous first on TV. She recently closed a deal on a 1200 foot square (that is kind of small) apartment in Manhattan for 5 million dollars (that is a lot of money).

3. Recently HBO had a comedy roundtable featuring Seinfeld, Ricky Gervais, Chris Rock, and Louis CK. What was the title of this special?

4. People in Sydney Austrailia were the first to participate in this type of event in 2007 in which everyone turns off all of their non-necessary electrical appliances.

5. This brewery is based in Santa Rosa California and is famous for its Pliny the Elder double IPA.

6. Who was John Edwards Mistress?

7. There are 13 metropolitan areas that have sports teams from all of the four major sports. Which city has the smallest population?

8. What is the name of the flight that made an emergency landing in the Hudson River (i.e. TWA 100) and what was the name of the pilot?

Music
9."Rich Girl" - 1977 One of this group's 6 number one hits.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-27T10:07:00.003-05:00

Nothing says Easter like tiger-beards.

Another Week, Another Winner

2011-04-20T09:51:00.003-05:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pfiddy/2331560025/in/set-72157604110928126

Hey Everyone, thanks to help from Joe and Neil our trivia team won again this week. There were only a few questions that we missed, so here they are:

1. What is the world's oldest continually operating brewery?

2. What is the name of the captain of the Exxon-Valdez that ran aground causing the worst oil disaster in history before the BP oil spill?

3. Name the two fighters that participated in a bout in 1999 that proved to be the largest drawing boxing event in Madison Square Garden. The bout ended in a draw.

MUSIC ("song" - artist)
4. "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" -

5. 1983 - "Owner of a Lonely Heart" -

Trivia- Winning It All!

2011-04-12T22:35:00.002-05:00

By the way, a trivia dream team including Maura, Joe, Kevin Smith, and Kate Campbell won the final week of trivia by a landslide; vaulting us past the cumulative score leaders to give us the grand prize of a $500 gift card to Sheffields. It was awesome. This happened a couple of weeks ago.

The new trivia season started this week, and we got 2nd place, losing by one point. Here are the questions we missed:

1. Banks are insured by the FDIC, what does FDIC stand for?

2. How many films are there in the "Karate Kid" franchise?

3. This Northeastern state became the 4th state to pass a law legalizing gay marraige in September of 2009.

4. Who is the current Secretary of the Treasury?

5. Who is the current Whip of either the Democratic or Republican Party?

6. What is the name of the Egyptian cobra snake that went missing from the Bronx Zoo, and was recently found?

7. In 1893, this country became the first modern country to grant women the vote.

8. What is the name of the flight (i.e. TWA 100) that was blown up by terrorists in 1988 over Scotland, commonly called the Lockerbie Bombing?

9. Norad, is not exactly an acronym, but what does it stand for?

10. What is the name of the man who was nearly beaten to death on live television after he was dragged out of his truck during the LA riots?

There were also parts of music questions that we missed:
Wyclef Jean - "Perfect Gentleman"
Anna Nalick - "Breathe 2am"
Gary Wright - "Dreamweaver"

Madness for Dogs

2011-04-03T17:20:00.000-05:00

Tommy the Bulldog versus Mom the Huskie. It's madness!!!!!!
Monday night for all of the marbles (dollars).

VS.

Madness Continues

2011-03-28T23:29:00.000-05:00

Surprise!!!!

2011-03-28T00:30:00.003-05:00

In a surprise ending, Chris has officially won the $3 buy in McCahill family bracket. And as Joey would say, "This is what I call madness!!"

Good thing I got outta town before Joe made pay though. Now that's madness.

Trivia - Repeat Winners

2011-03-17T09:21:00.003-05:00

Hey guys, we won this week again, so there are only a few that we missed. Here they are:

1. This rapper announced that he is releasing his latest album the day before he goes back to prison on gun charges.

2. This 1970 movie critically detailed the American blunders that led to the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor.

3. Notre Dame was fined this week for negligence that resulted in the death of a student who was filming the program's football practice during high winds that caused him to fall to his death. How much was the fine?

We also missed parts on the music, the songs were

4. "Throw Some D's" - Rich Boy

5. "Starz in Their Eyes" - Just Jack

I think that was all we missed this week. Good Luck!

Random Bracket

2011-03-13T19:55:00.002-05:00

Trivia - Winners Edition

2011-03-09T16:43:00.004-06:00

So, we won trivia this week! Here is my congratulations to my teammates Spangler and Kate, we needed every one of us to win this week.

Even though we won, there were still a few questions that we missed, and here they are:

1. What does the acronym SARS stand for?

2. This tool company is famous for their bright yellow tools.

3. This Missouri politician unsuccessfully ran for the Democratic presidential nominee in both 1988 and 2004

4. How many consecutive starts did Cal Ripken Jr. have?

5. After the introduction of the Euro currency, old currencies (now being replaced by the Euro) were officially phased out on February 28th of what year?

6. Give the name of either of the two men caught and convicted for the crimes committed by the "DC Sniper" or "Beltway Sniper" in 2002.

7. Name the 8 countries that formed the original G-8 conference.

8. Lindsay Lohan has been in the news for stealing a necklace. Name the store where she allegedly stole the necklace.

9. Great Lakes brewing company features a beer commemorating the nautical figure Commodore Perry. What is the quote that Commodore Perry is famous for?

10. This famous wartime field nurse was known as "The Angel of the Battlefield"

11. This racist Louisiana politician had an unsuccessful bid for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 1988, and another unsuccessful bid for the Republican Presidential nomination in 1992.

Pogues and Titus Andronicus

2011-03-04T13:46:00.003-06:00

Is Shane MaGowan still alive?
Yes, and he is still rocking.
This picture indicates a life and lifestyle that is not meant long for this world, amazingly, this picture was taken nearly two decades ago, and seemingly little has changed. Shane was a little shaky, and a little stumbly at times, but last night he joined the full Pogues ensemble and gave a rousing performance of all of their hits to an excited but wary crowd. When he shambled onstage and uttered his first slurs to the audience, many worried that we might have some sort of repeat of the kind of performance that got Shane kicked out of the Pogues back in the early 90's. After giving some of his hecklers the Irish flick off, he settled in to belting out 2 hours of entertainment including two encores capped off with a rowdy version of "Fiesta," though the Spanish verse did not seem to come through very well, I can say without hesitation that I left the show satisfied.

On a side note, Titus Andronicus is more than an early violent Shakespeare tragedy. It is a robot from the future that is coming to destroy us all.

They are also the band that I saw open for the Pogues. They didn't play my favorite song, and they didn't include the quote below in the live performance the way they do on the album, but it was still a fantastic show.

"Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step over the
ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! -- All the armies of Europe, Asia
and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own
excepted) in their military chest; with a Bonaparte for a commander,
could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the
Blue Ridge, in a trial of a Thousand years. At what point, then, is the
approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it
must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction
be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation
of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide."
Abraham Lincoln

Trivia

2011-03-02T11:07:00.003-06:00

This week we finished in 2nd place, just two points off the leader. A few of these we had down to 50/50, but we picked the wrong one. Here they are:

1. Which one of Andrew Lloyd Webber's hit plays debuted in 1988?

2. Who is the author of "A Million Little Pieces," the book that Oprah initially recommended, but then withdrew her support after confronting the author about numerous fictions in the allegedly autobiographical account.

3. What was the name of that author's follow-up book?

4. In the Turino Winter games, this athlete was the first African American to win a gold medal in an individual winter event.

5. What was the name of the choir that sang at the Oscars on Sunday night?

6. This famous American director is credited with over 140 films including the Oscar winner "How Green Was My Valley"

7. Fidel Castro's brother took over control of the Cuban government in February of 2008. What is his name?

More Trivia

2011-02-27T12:47:00.003-06:00

This week we got a few more answers right, but there were still a few we missed. Here they are:

1. There was a political scandal called "----gate" when G.W. Bush fired 8 district attorneys before they were likely going to launch a federal investigation.

2. There were two females running for City clerk. Name them.

3. This New York politician was recently censured by the house ethics committee.

4. This Jersey Shore star was proposed to at the Grammy Awards, however it is widely speculated that it was a publicity stunt.

5. Who was the losing vice presidential candidate for each election in the last 30 years?

6. There are three QBs that have started a Superbowl that have since passed away. Name them.

7. This 80's glam band played a show in 2003 where pyrotechnics caused a fire that killed 96 people. What was the name of the band?

8. Who is the cover model for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition this year?

9. What is the name of the bone that is at the base of your tongue?

Trivia

2011-02-16T09:14:00.003-06:00

As many of you know, I have been participating in Tuesday night trivia for the last few months. Each week, I keep track of the quiz questions that our team answered incorrectly, hoping to find somebody that would fill our knowledge gaps and give us a perfect score. I'm still not exactly sure how to format this, so I'll take suggestions, but for this first week, I'll post the questions first, and then tomorrow I will post the answers. So in my best Tommy voice "I've got some crazy trivia to ask you!"

1. In what year did Dick Cheney shoot one of his hunting companions in the face and neck?
2006
2. Tom Cruise starred as Bryan Flannigan in what 1988 film?
Cocktail
3. What was the 33rd state inducted into the Union?
Oregon
4. How many perfect games have there been in the Modern Era?
20
5. Who pitched the most recent Perfect Game? For what team?
Roy Halladay
6. What 1980's gameshow featured contestants shouting "no whammy, no whammy, no whammy"
Press Your Luck
7. The UK relinquished control over Hong Kong to China in what year?
1997
8. What is the name of the FBI agent that led that investigations on gangsters John Dillinger, Babyface Nelson, and Pretty Boy Floyd?
Melvin Pervis
9. Beating Justin Beiber, who won the Grammy award for Best New Artist last week?
Esperanza Spalding
10. NASCAR is an acronym for what?
National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing
11. What is the 1969 film that was the only X-rated film to earn the Oscar award for Best Picture?
Midnight Cowboy
12. What is the name of the organization founded in 1920 that originally only accepted female members and encouraged women to vote?
League of Women Voters
13. What is the name of the Kansas congressman that was the first Native American to hold congressional office?
Charles Curtis
14. This pitcher is "commonly" recognized as throwing Baseball's first No-hitter in 1875?
Joe Borden
15. What superhero has the tagline: "In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight"
The Green Lantern

Snowpocalypse

2011-02-03T07:38:00.002-06:00

Now that this snowpocalypse has taken over Chicago, it’s time to check in on how everyone is handling it:

Back at home, Dad asked tommy to help him sleeze through this sleet that was outside and to give him a scoop scoop. Tommy told him no and that he was going to get “slizzered in this blizzard,” instead. When asked to explain what this meant, he just said, “it’s snowbody’s business.”

In the end, Marty had to help clear the sidewalks proving that shovelry is not dead.

Meanwhile, Mom knows its snow joke out there but she said she was having an ice day overall anyway.

Erin and Eric, our favorite jet-setting couple had the right idea in plowing out of the Midwest for the week. There’s snow way there will be bad weather in Florida.

Molly said, “Oh hail no,” to this weather and instead, her and Pat are coming down to Bloomington for the weekend. Snowmygod I can’t wait!

When I asked Mary Beth about the weather she replied, “in this Blizzard of Oz, I’m still Dorothy.”

I hadn’t checked on my brother SnowBallz since Christmas and the Elfster incident, and I was worried about what I would find. I found out he’s been trying to “ice” the people stuck on Lake Shore Drive in the spirit of the storm. Too soon Joey. I heard Maura gave you the cold shoulder for that one.

Eddie is being snow annoying and won’t stop saying, “no snomo,” at the end of every sentence. And Kevin is in great danger of becoming a slush during this snowmaggedon. He won’t put down his snow-loko concoction for any reason. Jean must be snow disappointed.

Chris wouldn’t answer when I called to check up on him but a few minutes later he texted me, “Call u l8er, im 2busy watching Snoprah.”

Alright everyone, I want to see comments. It’s time to unfreeze the blog! And I’m sorry. I know this post was a little bit snoverkill.

-Imp

Bears vs. Packers

2011-01-19T10:34:00.003-06:00

Get your filthy hands off me!

Best Christmas Present Ever!

2010-12-20T18:15:00.001-06:00

2010-12-14T17:42:00.001-06:00

So, this is the card that Joe Ballz has been sending out for the Holidays. Classy.

2010-12-13T15:38:00.002-06:00

Some Chilly Willys

2010-12-13T15:10:00.002-06:00

Joe Ballz

Greetings from the Deep South

2010-12-12T22:34:00.004-06:00

Hey family,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be coming home on Friday, December 17th. I'll be home until January 9th and I can't wait to see everyone!

I also wanted to ask why Joe was hitting the town this weekend with another woman? And how does Maura feel about this?

And they looked so happy here:

Is this just another chapter in the dirty life of Joe Ballz?

-Patty

Broomball update

2010-12-09T23:02:00.002-06:00

A Tie is like kissing your sister

Ewwwwwwww

LOCK YOUR DOORS, JOE BALLZ HAS ESCAPED!!!

2010-12-09T12:30:00.004-06:00

Apparently Joe Ballz has become such a menace to the Chicagoland area that the local officials have been posting signs warning citizens to watch out for this menace. What started out as a little Christmas cheer has turned into offensive Christmas shame.

So, instead of saying HOHOHO this year Santa has been saying NONONO to this wild-eyed, Christmas elf gone wrong.

Only I didn't say "Fudge."

2010-12-09T12:26:00.004-06:00

I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the

__ __ __

Word.

Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle.

2010-12-07T12:28:00.000-06:00

2010-12-07T09:17:00.001-06:00

Since I've been working at Macy's I usually take my breaks over at the Chicago theater and chat it up with the staff. One day I saw them taking all the lettering off the marquee and I asked them for a small favor. They happily complied and I was able to get them to temporarily hoist up a McCahill Christmas shout out with special guest JOE BALLZ!!!! Well with Joe Ballz comes the magic of Christmas and that also means the magic of posting. I challenge you Joe Ballz to a posting frenzy from now until Christmas.

I'm pretty cutting-edge

2010-10-27T12:04:00.001-05:00

Guess Who's Back?

2010-09-28T15:33:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Chicago

2010-09-06T16:24:00.002-05:00

Patty and Molly left Chicago, but this guy came to town to play ball. I wonder if he would be available on Thursday nights?

Wii Fitness

2010-09-05T17:14:00.003-05:00

Molly,
I'm so much better than you at Wii Fit.

P.S.
In other general fitness news, Spangler now weighs less than me. Keep up the good work Mikey.

Patty is going to Indiana

2010-08-23T21:26:00.001-05:00

In Indiana they have two moons, and pretty soon they'll have another star.

Good Luck Patty!

It took you 25 years to do that?

2010-07-21T14:44:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday to me!

Here is the current list of people that I anticipate for the White Sox game on July 26th

1 Eddie McCahill
2 Spangler
3 Kevin Smith
4 Stephanie
5 Chris Cap
6 Danielle Brown
7 Dan Stilling
8 Kelly Stilling
9 Katie Dooves (Kelly's roommate)
10 Eric O'Malley
11 Erin McCahill
12 Marybeth McCahill
13 Patty McCahill
14 Laurel McCahill

15 Paul Musial
16 Sara - Paul's GF
17 Douglas Pump
18 Dion Berrien
19 Sherry Cwirko
20 Amy Moncher
21 Mirna Valenzuela
22 Lili - Student Records
23 Lenace Watson
24 Risa Turner
25 Christian Terrado
26 Krista Zech
27 Megan Burda
28 Megan's sister or boyfriend
29 Mike Lindsey
30 Joe McGuire
31 Joe's Wife
32 Mark Musial
33 Joe Grund
34 Mark Musial's guest

35 Pat Janulis
36 Lauren Milner
37 Mike Fern.
38 Laura Pnewski
39 Alison LaRocque
40 Rob Gu.

41 Molly McCahill
42 Hannah White
43 Joanna
44 Hannah

45 Joe McCahill
46 Maura
47 Leah
48 Chris W.

49 Kevin McCahill
50 Jean
51 Elle D.
52 Joe Maratto
53 Kate Campbell

I'm pretty sure that I am missing some people. Any final word from Marty, T-Bone, Chris, Sarah, or Dad?

Either way, I bought 50 tickets. So I am probably going to have to up the order.

I can't wait to see you all there.

-Eddie McCahill

Patty is having a hard time letting go of the wedding

2010-07-08T12:44:00.003-05:00

As per tradition, Patty totally freaked out about her sibling's wedding, and has basically been on tilt for the last two months. Even though she wore a bridesmaid's dress to the wedding, she still carried on her custom of buying four dresses for the occasion. However, because she only ended up wearing one dress at the wedding, she has been wandering around in her surplus dresses searching for future reasons to get all dressed up. I came back home on a recent Tuesday, and I took this picture of Patty. She asked me "this says 'first day of college' right?"

Patty might have a harder time at Indiana than we originally thought.

Eddie!

2010-06-18T14:35:00.002-05:00

After the Blackhawks earned the Stanley Cup, Eddie took to the streets of Wrigleyville and earned himself an introduction to the CPD.

The Better Man

2010-06-16T14:53:00.004-05:00

I know that Joe probably had a tough decision determining who he would pick for best man at his impending wedding. Friends and family were vying for the position, but I can't be upset at his choice in taking Kevin. I did want to (and still want to) hear T-Bone give a solid speech for the occasion, however, I'm sure Kevin won't let him down.

What really upset me, though, was that Joe and Maura have not given me the nod for Ring-Bearer. I've put a lot of work into reverse aging, but they still passed me over. Here is a picture of me showing my displeasure.

You deserved it.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-11T11:53:00.001-05:00

Him? Really?

2010-06-09T14:57:00.004-05:00

So our brother Joe is getting married in less than a month. Most of you will be surprised to hear that he is going to be marrying a woman. But really, I wish you and Nicole Kidman all the best.

PROM iscuous girl

2010-05-21T16:11:00.003-05:00

One of the first posts on this family blog was an announcement that Patty was going to her first 8th grade dance. Last week Patty attended her Senior Prom, taking 3 high school boys and a 22 year old male "escort" as her dates. She's just growing up so fast.

I remember my Senior Prom pretty well, the simple "grind" dance move was slowly losing popularity as the only way to dance, but still the DJ made sure to play a lot of Swing or Oldies type music so we would not be encouraged to grind. With the grind move out of the picture the majority of the class struggled, suddenly realizing that they did not know any other dance moves. I myself spent a lot of time away from the dance floor, but I had a pretty good time anyway. Well Patty, I hope you enjoyed your Prom, and make sure to enjoy the rest of your Senior year.

SECRETZ

2010-04-29T14:44:00.005-05:00

The *SECRETZ* team has always been unhealthily interested in figuring out exactly what Tommy does all day. Here is photo documentation of a younger Tommy outside the house. We haven't seen something like this in years. Based on his current habits, one would hardly believe that Tommy is a creature suited to withstand the rigors of leaving his computer chair. There has been some speculation that Tommy and the chair have formed some sort of symbiotic relationship similar to the bond that he had formed as Lord of the Couch. However, this photo is a reminder that the elusive Tommy does occasionally venture outside the domicile, so keep your eyes open, and your cameras ready. You will definitely want to capture the event if you are witness to it, because who knows when it will happen again.

Beware the Ides of April

2010-04-13T22:32:00.006-05:00

Some people worry about Tax Day like it is Judgment Day, but Kevin's tax return is more than I paid for my car. He has a pretty good track record of bonus purchases, but is it wrong for me to rooting for something in particular?

This setup would look pretty nice at our apartment Kevin.

P.S.
After a brief Easter inspired revival, the Grey Ghost is dead once again.

The Boyhood Dream is Over

2010-03-29T19:31:00.006-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQMBQu5rC-w

The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, may have fought in his last match this past weekend. At Wrestlemania, Michaels tested his moniker of "Mr. Wrestlemania" against the Undertaker's unprecedented 17-0 streak in Wrestlemania events. Though Michaels was able to land his Sweet Chin Music a few times on the Dead Man he still ended up losing the match. After withstanding each of the Taker's signature moves including the Choke-slam, the Last Ride Powerbomb, the Hell's Gate submission, and two Tombstone pile-drivers, Michaels was unable to withstand a third Tombstone, and the sold-out crowd watched as the Undertaker put the Heartbreak Kid down for the count. HBK promised that if he lost this match, that is would be his last. Though wrestlers are less trustworthy than Michael Jordan when it comes to talking about retirement, I could see this one sticking for Michaels. I hope his post-wrestling career is as successful as his time in the ring was.

Good Luck HBK. Thanks for the memories.

.......walking in a mccahill wonderland.......

2010-03-28T09:01:00.005-05:00

Not sure if you guys heard the news yet or not but, Tim Sheehan is a DAD!!!! Here is the happy father holding up one of his beautiful kids! Our loyal neighbors becoming grandparents has gotten me a bit nostalgic for the old times growing up in the McCahill household. I dusted off some old photos and put them on the scanner to share forever on the great McCahill blog:

This could have been any two McCahills at any given time in the late 80's. Our Dad, drunk from his power of establishing big-bed, forced us to re-enact scenes from the bible. As you can see here we have Eddie playing the role of the Ark and Tommy getting his feet wet as Noah (though, i'm pretty sure we had to tell him that he was a Jedi warrior in order to get him to wear the robe).
And who could forget this little league "accident" when the tom boy MaryBeth got jealous of our youngest Patty's golden curls.

Remember in 8th Grade when the coolest kid in school was the one who took the coolest class photo? Well, here's our Marty taking it to the extreme while he was top of the class at Roosevelt.

Our family vacations always had a certain charm about them. This is one of the first vacations the family took. Chris, MaryBeth, Erin, Kevin and Dad just living the dream of being daredevils together. I especially like the look on Chris's face!
This wasn't even a halloween costume! This was actually one of Erin's many "household" outfits. These outfits were a bi-product of her early years of being a model. I think Patty tried this one on the other day and she can still squeeze into it.
Tommy and the Easter Bunny. I think the hate was mutual.My latest trick is taking current photos and using a computer program to see what a person or persons would look like in the year 2050. Here I used the soon to be married Maura and Joe photo. Looks like they won't be doing too bad for themselves in 40 years!

Out of the Blue and Into the Black

2010-03-25T13:35:00.002-05:00

Above is a picture of me in happier times. There I was, on top of the world. I had just gotten my own office, and the employee of the term award. But my term is over, this must be like how Reagan or Clinton felt after their 8 years in office (George W. was probably glad to be out of the spotlight). I will be reluctantly handing over my employee of the term award to two of my colleagues who deserved the honor. That's right, it took two people to replace me. In my farewell speech, I am going to let my fans know that though I will no longer be holding the title of "Employee of the Term" that I can't imagine the title and myself being separated for long. I've taken this term to regroup, and I'm focusing my efforts on a return to glory for the Spring term. Thank you for all of the well wishes.

Good Day.

Gambling

2010-03-14T19:28:00.003-05:00

Tommy is trying to steal my quarters

The Chillie Willys party with style!!!!

2010-03-08T21:31:00.002-06:00

Well, Mary Beth knows how to throw a party.... and Gabby taught Paddy Cakes some cool new dance moves!

Patty's New BF

2010-02-11T13:09:00.001-06:00

Patty's ill-advised trysts in the past have been well documented. I-pod, I-dog, roomba, and the Pillow all left Patty with a broken heart.* Technology has a powerful hold over this youngest McCahill. The Pillow was an aberration that combined Patty's love for sleep, with the ability to beat up Tommy. This was the same pillow that went on to fame after successfully defeating Tommy in an Iron Man wrestling match after pinning, submitting, and TKO'ing Tommy in a lopsided victory) However, now Patty has a new Beau(pictured below) and we are all hoping that things will end differently for her.

Basically, we are hoping that Patty figures out how to ditch this loser before becoming too attached. When asked about his interests, the new love interest responded "cheetos" and after an extended pause asked "was that the right answer?" Most of us will have the opportunity to meet this slatternly rube for the first time at Molly's Whirlyball birthday party. While those of us in the know, are upset about this, Marty encouraged Molly to invite the brutish sponge so he could hopefully tip his car during the games. Regardless Patty, we are all rooting for you, just not for your relationship with this dense clod.

*As a side note, Patty's relationship with the Internet ended amicably, and after a period of tension, both sides feel comfortable seeing eachother as friends again.

Oh Hell Yes!

2010-02-05T12:02:00.002-06:00

Last time I crossed paths with Oprah, she was teaming up with the majority of America (particularly minorities and people between 18 and 30) to elect President Barack Obama. Now she is setting her sights even higher. Oprah is teaming up with Walgreens, one of the top ten pharmacies in this fine country, to take on, and- hopefully- take out all the nations diabetics. Lookout Jay Cutler, Nick Jonas, Halle Berry! Even your leader, Wilford Brimley doesn't stand much of a chance against the power of Oprah.
maybe I read that headline incorrectly.

...best picture ever?

2010-02-04T13:37:00.000-06:00

Demetri Martin spells palindrom, 'A-W-E-S-O-M-E'

2010-02-02T12:02:00.001-06:00

"Dammit I'm Mad"

Dammit I’m mad.

Evil is a deed as I live.

God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.

To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.

Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?

Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.

I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.

Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,

In my halo of a mired rum tin.

I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.

Is evil in a clam? In a trap?

No. It is open. On it I was stuck.

Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.

Be still if I fill its ebb.

Ew, a spider… eh?

We sleep. Oh no!

Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.

Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.

Both, one… my names are in it.

Murder? I’m a fool.

A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,

A Goddam level I lived at.

On mail let it in. I’m it.

Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!

A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.

Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:

“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”

Evil is a deed as I live.

Dammit I’m mad.

See

2010-01-30T15:43:00.000-06:00

Even Kimbo Slice hates mom's plant.

R.I.P.

2010-01-28T13:49:00.002-06:00

Norman Mailer called him "the greatest mind ever to stay in prep school."
His own daughter called him "an unpleasant recluse who drank his own urine."
For nearly sixty years, adolescents have considered him a hero.
In 1951, he wrote, "I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes, that way I wouldn't have to have any ... stupid useless conversations with anybody.... I'd build me a little cabin somewhere with the dough I made."
He's seemed like one of those deaf-mutes for a long time, but today he built that little cabin six feet under. Although, I think JD Salinger faked his death.

Red-Headed Devil

2010-01-25T13:16:00.002-06:00

Kelly Stilling stopped by to see me at DePaul Central today and asked about tonight's broomball contest. Due to the fact that Jean is spinning off this planet, we were glad to invite the spunky red-head to join the squad. However, I don't think she really knows what she is getting herself into. We started talking about gear, and what she should wear to the game, but she interrupted me and showed me this picture and asked if it was really important for her to wear orange to the match. I, of course, told her no.

Eddie Belfour will be in goal tonight ready to deliver the pain and the shutout. See you at ~7:00.

McCriminals

2010-01-15T14:51:00.009-06:00

Though everyone knows that a man with a beard is tough, not everyone knows how tough it is to be a man with a beard. Gubernatorial candidate Dan Hynes has made having a beard even tougher.

Chilli Willies

2010-01-12T13:33:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, MB, Kevin, Dan Stilling, Pat Janulius (JA-NU-LEE-US), Jean, Kate, Maratto, Gabby, Sam, and I took the ice for the first game of the broomball season. Before we got on the rink, we were just a hodge-podge of scrappers and losers, but by the end of the game, we proved that we were indeed Chilli Willies. Maratto sparked the action by scoring all four of the team's goals in a 4-0 victory over some scrubs that we played. MB was penalized for apparently biting one of the opposing players, but she still viewed the game as a success based on her post-game interview. When asked about the bite she replied "Well, that was the one the referee saw, I probably delivered about a dozen bites throughout the game, so if that was the only one that was called for a penalty, I'd say I was successful today." While we all played fairly well, there are some areas where we could improve, let's hope that Dan Stilling will stay on his feet a little bit more during his ice time, and let's hope that Kevin quits being such a pansy out there.

Good Luck for the next game everyone!

2009-12-29T08:19:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T10:23:00.001-06:00

If you can call it that.

SECRETZ

2009-12-21T10:41:00.002-06:00

Tommy Has Marty in the Grab-bag!

P.S.
Is there going to be a Cookie Party for Joe's Birthday this year?

SECRETZ OUT!

To Beard or not to Beard

2009-12-10T11:31:00.001-06:00

I was speaking with our youngest brother T-Bone on Thanksgiving, and I noticed that he was taking a lot of criticism about his beard from various Uncles and Cousins. I brought up the proposition to Tommy that if so many people wanted him to shave his beard, he should acquiesce, however, it shouldn't mean that he would not be able to profit. I told him that he should take up a collection, and when the total pot hits a certain dollar amount he would shave his beard. I rubbed my fingers together and like Ted Dibiase (the Million Dollar Man) I told Tommy "Everybody has a Price." Tommy shook his head as I started my low offers $20? $40? $100? Tommy steadfastly refused. Tommy insisted that he could not be bought, so I told him that his statement was insane and asked him if he would shave his beard for a million dollars. He just shook his head.

I told T-Bone that if he actually passed up that opportunity, I might have to kill him. Imagine the good that could be done with a million dollars? And all for a beard that could grow back?

I was thinking about sell-outs, and I was trying to remember my first encounter with the concept. It was probably from Wrestling (note the wrestling reference above). Maybe Tommy should set his own price because look what Tatanka got after he "sold out" to the Million Dollar Man:

Eddie's Shinning Moment

2009-12-08T13:39:00.003-06:00

When I was in third grade, I bravely stayed in t-ball instead of playing "baseball" -- Boys Minors. That year, kindergartners were allowed to play t-ball in the RF for the first time. That meant that the big man (little man at this point) was on the same Dreschler Brown team as Marty and I. Dad coached, and we were pretty good. Eddie used to strike out a lot in T-Ball. I mean bad, and he had barely any front teeth. There were 5 outfielders in RF t-ball, so Eddie regularly played deep left-field. I recall one game, when some other brave third grader for the opposing team hit a monster blast. The classic grey faux-laces raced up into the perfect blue sky, it passed me at third, it passed the left fielder, and was headed all the way into the spot Eddie had hid in all year long. The ball was headed into deep left-field! It was the 5^th and final inning, and the runner on first was the tying run, so the batter was the winning run. As a team, we collectively looked back to see our team’s final line of defense sitting down on his mitt. He was picking grass. As the runners raced around the bases, we knew the game was likely lost. Eddie did get up however, and raced to the ball. He picked it up, and popped up a solid throw in. It made it half way to the normal left fielder. I ran out from third, and picked up the ball. The game was already tied, but I knew I had a chance at getting the batter at the plate. A future high school B-team backup quarterback, I threw as hard as I could. Bewley covered home, and while the ball was close, the runner barely beat the tag, and we had lost. Just like that, we were let down by a young Kindergartner. I recall being furious while eating the lousy juice barrel and goldfish snacks after the game. Eddie was young, so we left him alone about the sitting down thing. When we got home however, Marty, Dad, and I had to ask. What was he doing sitting on his mitt? Why was he not paying attention to the game.

He had a temper back then, and began to express his rage. It wasn’t his fault, he muttered. He saw some bugs that were new to him, and he had to get a closer look. It was a distraction, but he knew that the game was going on. He would have been paying attention, but the real problem was that, “HE DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!”

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

2009-12-03T13:33:00.004-06:00

Some of you might remember seeing this picture about 7 months ago when DePaul let me know that I got the job with them. I should probably get a new picture, but I think the joy and boundless opportunity (the essence of Super-McCahill) was captured pretty well, so I am using it again. This is the email that I got from my boss yesterday:

Hello all,
Once again the management team had the difficult task of choosing our employee of the term. This term we chose someone who joined our team in March of 2009. Since his arrival, he has demonstrated excellent customer service skills and attention to detail. He continues to strive for excellent customer service even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone to get the job done. He has gained the knowledge to be able to answer student account questions as well as questions from the financial aid and student records areas. As quoted by some of his colleagues, he has become the expert Intake coordinator, and has developed the skills of a tuition counselor. He will seek the necessary assistance to solve student’s issues before passing the student on to someone else. He is always pleasant to talk to and willing to assist our students.
It is my pleasure to announce that EDDIE MCCAHILL was unanimously chosen as our star of the term!
Keep up the good work!

In the McCahill family this is kind of like the Grand Opera Opening Community Chest card in Monopoly. I look forward to each of your $50 contributions.

-SUPER McCAHILL

SECRETZ

2009-11-18T10:34:00.005-06:00

The *SECRETZ* team has sought out the deep dark truthnessses of the past and present day. However, now we will turn our clairvoyant gaze towards the greatest mystery: THE FUTURE.

Searching the future, with a device that contains time, the *SECRETZ* team was able to uncover this future lazer image of Maura face-raking Joe. It looks like she didn't age quite as well as that vixen Katherine Keener, but she doesn't look so bad considering that this picture was found 100 years in the future. In the future the face rake is the only acceptable form of greeting after people started considering handshakes too "gay".

This was all a trick, the future is now. Eddie got a bluetooth.

The future Eddie (current Eddie) does not require a shirt to talk on the phone.

More looks into the future coming soon!
*SECRETZ* OUT!

Why are the Wild Onions still under attack?

2009-11-18T10:18:00.008-06:00

First, on a beautiful late summer evening, JoeyMac suffered a bizarre "freak accident" during warm-ups for a Chicago Wild Onions softball game late this summer. The vicious "accident" left him rolling on the ground, screaming in pain.

Just a week later, teamates Tom and Lindsey Stilling went missing. They haven't been seen on the softball field, or anywhere in the Chicagoland area since.
Later that same week, Wild Onion reserve, Saranya found herself on the Disabled List due to another freak "accident." This time, the Wild Onion was somehow cut, bruised, black-eyed and embarassed beyond recognition during the course of a Frisbee-Golf competition.
For real, this happened during a Frisbee-Golf game.

In rapid succession the following week, utility fielder Anna Hayden-Moy went missing under circumstances eerily similar to the disappearances of both Tom and Lindsey Stilling. Then, outfielder Jean Fiske suffered a freak "accident" of her own while sliding safely under the tag at home plate.

Now, most of us Wild Onions assumed that these "accidents" or, attacks, as I'd prefer to call them, would come to an end upon the completion of the inaugural River Forest Late Summer Coed 12" Recreational Softball League. But they have not stopped. Coach/player Eddie McCahill suffered the most recent attack in early November, 2009, a poisoning. This poisoning and subsequent puking resulted in his expulsion from Soldier Field, causing a huge rift within the Wild Onion team.
It is my belief that these disappearances and attacks can all be attributed to one individual or small cell of individuals. The following is a candid cell phone picture taken of a mysterious man who has been spotted near most of the known Wild Onion attacks. It's believed that is next attack will involve some sort of human bomb. He should be considered creepy and dangerous:

SECRETZ

2009-11-16T11:50:00.004-06:00

Most of us know that the two older McCahill sisters spent some of their childhood years as models for toys and coloring books. Then our family had a drought of girls that lasted nearly a decade. When a new girl finally arrived on the scene, the long-awaited appearance was disappointing to say the least. Molly ended the McCahill's reign of cuteness. But then, as the McCahill's entered the 90's a glimmer of hope appeared. Above is an archived picture of Patty in her prime. This was just a candid shot that our mother snapped on her old flash cube camera. Mom meant to send in the photo to the modeling agency because she knew that she had another star on her hands after the recent dud (Molly). However, I discovered this photo buried in a treasure box labeled "Molly's secret stuff" hidden deep in the dark closets of the girl's room. Unfortunately, Molly pulled her own Tanya Harding trick and eliminated the competition by suppressing Patty's photo. All Patty could say when she found out about Molly's trickery was "Why Me? Why Now? Why?"
Oh Molly.

*SECRETZ* OUT!

Surfer Skit

2009-11-10T11:02:00.003-06:00

Surfer 1: Hey dude! Did you hear about Ida?!?!
Surfer 2: I know man! She's way cooler now that she's just a depression!!

Dad's New Ink

2009-11-09T19:58:00.000-06:00

Bigger and Better

2009-11-02T21:45:00.004-06:00

In our younger days, most of my brothers spent many hours plotting to get their way into that local Eden: the bars in Forest Park. When I was old enough, fifteen, I was desperate to join the fun that my brothers so often experienced. Well my older brothers had just dazzled me with their stories of sneaking in to the local haunts, so I made some memories myself on late school nights a few years back.
But sadly the Nutbush is no longer.
I discovered this myself one night when I took the expectant walk down Franklin Ave. towards Harlem only to discover a hole in the ground where the Nutbush once was. So many late nights and loose morals were spent in that palace where dreams comes true. I took a sad walk home with my tail between my legs as I lamented the vanishing act that my favorite spot had just completed. However, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest when I learned that the Nutbush was coming back and it was going to be better than ever. They are rebuilding, and they can make it better. While the original bar featured no windows and a bunch of creeps staring at you at all times, the new bar is going to have a lot of romantic lighting and a private jacuzzi that can be rented out for parties. Tommy only has one year before he can get in without his Grizzly Adams fake ID, and I don't know what could be a better 21st birthday party than to have all his brothers take him out to the new and improved hotspot. There is a bigger and better Nutbush that has been filling my thoughts and dreams, and I just can't wait. I am on the edge of my seat.